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  • 10 July 2011

  • $Billion Outdoor Pastime Struggles With Liquid

  • FORMULA 1 bosses have been urged to make their multi-million pound cars slightly more adaptable than a 10-year-old Nissan Micra.

    As Jenson Button pointed the remains of his car over the finish line before anybody else in the Canadian Grand Prix, many viewers wondered how several billion pounds worth of design had struggled so much to cope with the average road conditions of Manchester in July.

    Ferrari boss Stefano Domenicali said: "While I realise that our racing cars might not have a decent cup holder due to weight considerations, I would hope that after spending the GDP of Burkina Fasso they might be able to turn the odd corner when there's enough water on the road to drown a millipede without hurtling themselves over a crash barrier or just bursting into flames.

    "In fact, by now I'd really expect them to generate their own microclimate which not only dried the track around them but also encouraged the driver to change into his shorts by the time he's finished the race."

    Footage from yesterday's race is already being pored over by Hollywood producers who believe it could be invaluable in their upcoming reboot of Harold Lloyd and the Keystone Cops Go Ice Skating.

    F1ologist Wayne Hayes said: "It's difficult to hear over the sound of the engines and Lewis Hamilton voicing his opinion of Button, but in the background you can actually hear the cars generating the noise of swanee whistles and trombones.

    "While all eyes were on Button's dramatic not-suddenly-forgetting-how-to-drive-like-Vettel-did, at the back of the race you can clearly see the last car crossing the finishing line with 37 old-fashioned policemen clinging to the sides of it."


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    To get further information on this event goto btween3d.co.uk/

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    • 01 November 2013

    • Membership Subscriptions & Club Usage

    • With general shifts and trends in mind alongside listening closely to your needs we have decided to review our terms of membership and would like to notify you of a few significant changes that will hopefully meet the priorities of existing and new members.
    • Read more
    • 29 October 2013

    • Academy Hotel Offers Special Rates

    • The Academy is an elegant 4* boutique hotel only 2 minutes from One Alfred Place. The Academy is a stylish solution for you and your guests who may require centrally located accommodation and we are pleased to be able to offer our members specially discounted rates ......
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  • 31 March 2014

  • Alfred's Blog:

    One Alfred Place explores the natural alternative to energy drinks

  • Add a 'Spring' to your step........Spring has officially sprung! Hooray I hear you all cry! It's time for blankets of bluebells, the chirruping of birds, the leaping of lambs, and the blooming of blossom!

    In anticipation of warmer weather to come we thought it best to introduce some new drinks at the club to help quench your thirst on those hot days ahead (am I being too ambitious?!)
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