FORMULA 1 bosses have been urged to make their multi-million pound cars slightly more adaptable than a 10-year-old Nissan Micra.
As Jenson Button pointed the remains of his car over the finish line before anybody else in the Canadian Grand Prix, many viewers wondered how several billion pounds worth of design had struggled so much to cope with the average road conditions of Manchester in July.
Ferrari boss Stefano Domenicali said: "While I realise that our racing cars might not have a decent cup holder due to weight considerations, I would hope that after spending the GDP of Burkina Fasso they might be able to turn the odd corner when there's enough water on the road to drown a millipede without hurtling themselves over a crash barrier or just bursting into flames.
"In fact, by now I'd really expect them to generate their own
microclimate which not only dried the track around them but also
encouraged the driver to change into his shorts by the time he's
finished the race."
Footage from yesterday's race is already
being pored over by Hollywood producers who believe it could be
invaluable in their upcoming reboot of Harold Lloyd and the Keystone
Cops Go Ice Skating.
F1ologist Wayne Hayes said: "It's difficult
to hear over the sound of the engines and Lewis Hamilton voicing his
opinion of Button, but in the background you can actually hear the cars
generating the noise of swanee whistles and trombones.
eyes were on Button's dramatic
not-suddenly-forgetting-how-to-drive-like-Vettel-did, at the back of the
race you can clearly see the last car crossing the finishing line with
37 old-fashioned policemen clinging to the sides of it."
Type 1 Diabetes Symptoms - End the Confusion and Save Lives #T1D
it's ten years since the death of Adam Bell, 34, from misdiagnosed Type 1 diabetes. A usually healthy and active person, Adam suddenly fell ill complaining of stomach pains and nausea.
He was incorrectly diagnosed by his doctor as suffering from a virus, and Adam tragically died alone the following day.
Post-mortem results revealed Adam died from Ketoacidosis, a complication of Type 1 diabetes. The Adam Bell Foundation was set up in his memory, to raise awareness and save lives.
Doctor Who's 50th schedule announced
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North's campuses 'top for nightlife'
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NI banking practices under scrutiny
A wide-ranging inquiry into banks in Northern Ireland is due to begin at Westminster, with the future of the troubled Ulster Bank one of the key areas of investigation.