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- 01 July 2010
Cameos, Capello and the Powerful Lure of a Club Sandwich
- Happy Birthday Glastonbury Festival! Last week Somerset's finest music event celebrated being 40 years old but is still as fresh, exciting and eclectic as ever - kind of like Alfred himself. But, one pervasive and malign influence was noted at the event - the amount of bands that 'invited' another artist on to the stage during their show to share the workload. Snoop Dogg joined Gorillaz, Scissor Sisters had a cameo from Kylie Minogue, and even headliners Muse recruited U2's Edge for guitar duties.
If only this kind of shameless drafting in of complimentary talent were allowed in the business world. If only, mid way through an important business pitch, when the audience interest starts flagging you could rouse them with the introduction of a star colleague who bounds in to the boardroom to present the last three slides of your PowerPoint and clinches the deal.
The new energy and intoxicating collaboration of a last minute cameo may stir an otherwise uninspired crowd but - and this means you musicians and salesmen alike - if you can't hold the audience's attention with your own ideas and talent you shouldn't expect to get the gig.
Face it folks, that slim-for-summer diet just didn't happen (again) this year. What's more, every time Alfred peruses the club's lunch menu with the intent to order a healthy, protein rich, carb poor tuna nicoise salad, why oh why does his resolve melt like the creamy, cheese atop the chunky delicious burger he accidentally orders. Next year, eh?
Deep in wedding season Alfred is increasingly peeved with the unreasonable demands of couple's gift lists. Look, I'll dry-clean a linen suit and drag myself up to a remote Gloucester village to celebrate your nuptials, hell, if tradition dictates I'll even buy you an ornate salad bowl from John Lewis. But subsidising honeymoons, contributing to an art fund or donating to the church just ain't going to happen, pal.
Note to self: However hot it gets outside, a suit jacket, shorts and shoes simply doesn't cut it as a work outfit. It doesn't work on a gay man. Not on a catwalk model. And certainly not on Alfred! The only ones who can pull off the look are school boys and that mad guitarist bloke from AC/DC.
Heard too much this week: "Stieg Larsson is this year's Dan Brown"
Not heard enough this week: "Say what you like about Fabio Capello's man management skills. But boy, can he negotiate an employment contract"
Last word: Sunshine = relaxation. Relaxation = happiness. Happiness = smiles. Smiles = friendliness. Friendliness = warmth. Warmth = Sunshine.
Good day.
Alfred
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